Guess what I did for the first time? I recited a poem I wrote in front of actual people and a Facebook livestream.
I debuted a poem titled “no competition” at Trail’s Edge Cafe’s poetry night and like any public speaking, it’s a little unnerving. Especially when that poem brings up a lot of negative emotions tied to an ex.
“No competition” highlights the polar opposite differences between an ex of mine and my current boyfriend. I wrote it because I was feeling so grateful to be treated the right way now, when in some of the cases I used as examples of the ex, I wasn’t even getting the bare minimum respect you’d expect from a human interaction.
I posted a reel of me reciting my poem to an intimate group at Trail’s Edge on my Instagram. The comment section is full of supportive friends who recognize it isn’t easy to talk about how you were treated by someone when you know you shouldn’t have allowed it to go on for so long. I cringe every time I think about how long that relationship lasted when it was so bad for me.
I learned to set boundaries and to enforce them better from that relationship (which, let’s be honest, the word ‘relationship’ implies some mutual respect, care, and trust, so was it really?). And on top of some strength I gained from learning how to not allow a significant other to walk all over me, I got some gritty poetry out of it too.
These other poems inspired by unfortunate experiences along with some written about other examples of heartbreak will all be part of my upcoming book of poetry and short stories! I’ve written a couple letters about this upcoming book, like this introductory post, or if you’re a paid subscriber, you can read an official progress report which includes details on my process.
But I do want to emphasize the positive part of this poem as well. It’s only because of all the negative things I went through that the positive opposite things feel so much more satisfying and make me so much more grateful for the relationship I’m in now. I learned exactly what I didn’t want in a man, and then I met someone who not only does the opposite of all those shitty things, but so much more (and, thankfully, because like I said, the opposites of many of those shitty things are really just common curtesy haha).
Let me know what you thought of the poem, and if you too can relate to being even more grateful for something because you had to experience the exact opposite of it.
Thanks for reading (and watching)! I’ll see you soon for a special Daughter Nature related letter that I’ll be releasing from the drafts in the near future.
-
sugar and spite and everything nice,
Natalie